Grief painting became my thing shortly after my five year old daughter, Lorelei, died in July 2021 due to her Mitochondrial Disease. I needed an outlet that would allow me to create. My soul was screaming “PAINT WOMAN! PAINT!” even though I had only touched a paint brush a handful of times, most of them being in Elementary School. My soul got louder, and my friends did not laugh at me – so I went for it. I grabbed a brush and a bunch of paint that was 10+ years old and I started painting.

I think what I initially loved most about “grief painting” was that, just like grief itself, there was no “wrong way” of doing it. In a world where everything is right or wrong, black or white, life or death… I found myself without a skillset, tons of colors, and nothing I had to keep alive when I had a brush in my hand. I made up the rules. I considered nothing ugly. I connected my moment of grief or trending emotion with every single creation. So I kept at it.

Through the process, I have found that I love blending colors and literally throwing paint. I paint the sky and the sea most often – I think because it makes me feel closer to Lorelei. I also created a collection called “Hope Stars for Benji”.

If you have been following our story for the last few years, you know that Benji’s hashtag (because all kids have hashtags these days, right??) is #StarsForBenji. When I was a few months pregnant with him and we received the news that like Lorelei, Benji too had Mitochondrial Disease, my husband and I chose to look up. Look up to God. Look up to the Universe. Look up to all the beautiful stars that shined in the darkness. So in my grief, I started painting stars.

Every single star I have painted is its own. Each one is unique and a mess. No two stars that are the same. Some are colorful and bright like Lorelei. Some are stoic and quiet like Benji. I have numbered every star I have painted because I feel like that documents my trek through grief. Or maybe it’s my trek to healing?

A portion of the proceeds from the Hope Stars for Benji that are sold helps us raise awareness and funds for Mitochondrial Disease research through “Lorelei and Benji’s Fund for a Mito Cure” at The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia.